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Breasts, Thighs and Nuggets

by Loraine Gostling

So, what has been going on these last weeks with the happy “Connectors” on my group? What makes people talk to each other? What are the subjects that people want to discuss? Well, it may come as a surprise …or maybe not… that the one singular “hot topic” recently was the huge sign that had gone up near our shopping centre in Ondara, proudly announcing that the famous,  “finger-lickingly good” restaurant franchise, KFC is embarking upon a new clucking erection and that soon those succulent, breasts, thighs and nuggets would be available with a bag of limp patatas fritas RIGHT ON OUR DOORSTEP! 

Right now, consumers of the secretly coated poultry have had to pack a lunchbox and head to Benidorm, Calpe or Gandia to get their “fix” and so this breaking news was greeted with delight from hoards of addicts! But it didn’t take long before fowl warfare started!

Skin and hair flew about, whilst people argued about  how unhealthy it is, , whether they would also have the beans and gravy, when to start queuing up and, indeed, was it fake news?

My post announcing this earth shattering news was being shared left,right and centre and reached more people that day, than most others would in a week! People were both drooling over it and demonising it, but, at the end of the day, after all the votes were cast in 24 hours, I counted them  (sad person that I am). Unfortunately, both John Bercow and Sir Lindsay Hoyle are busy at the moment dealing with a little problem called London Fried Brexit So, I shall announce that the “ayes” (likes,loves and wows” to the right were 660 and the “nos” (yucks, ecks and angry faces) to the left were just 37… so the ayes have it….. the ayes have it ( good speaker impression eh?) 

And my opinion of this gastronomic feast in a bucket? Well, I have to be honest and say that I am not a big meat or poultry fan, but that outer coating is just so scrumptious… If I had my way, I would just buy a calorie loaded portion of the crispy bits and eat the lot with coleslaw. Gravy going anywhere near chips or the aforesaid crispy bits is just a no-no – soggy chips have forever been banned from my plate! There is only one place that I will put myself out to go and get KFC, and that is Indonesia, where there must be many others like me who relish the chicken skin coated in those eleven herbs and spices and sell by the bucketful ( I read it in the Sun so it must be true!)

Finally, as I do like to delve a bit in finger lickin’ history, you may not know that, until his death in 1980, Col. Sanders always wore his white suit and black string bow-tie and worked as a spokesperson for the company he founded. But he wasn’t pleased with the taste of his famous chicken and gravy. In interviews, he was so upset by the quality of the food that he would tell reporters that the gravy “ain’t fit for my dogs.” In fact, he was so open about his disdain for the alterations made to his recipes, that KFC sued him for libel in 1978. The Colonel stuck two of his good lickin’ fingers up at the prosecution, and the case was thrown out of court !

Oriiginally written as “Food Fight” for The Olive Press Costa Blanca

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